I dearly love children, honestly. I went off every medication I was on (against medical advice) to have my child. That is how much I love children.
I read an article this week about a woman’s “miracle child” and how it would save her marriage. I think children should be conceived in love and be brought up in a loving home. I don’t think it’s a child’s job to “save” a marriage.
I’ve been through the “miracle child” dilemma in my life. It was done to save a marriage too. When my sibling was born, she was called a “miracle baby”. My Dad loved her, took her everywhere he went. He was a good man and he stayed. As you can tell, I was older. My job was to watch the baby and the other child in the home. I don’t even call them siblings anymore. I know that is odd and probably unforgivable to most. I just don’t. I never had a life after age 9. My life was babysitting continuously.
My Dad had enough finally, just all he handle. He committed suicide when I was 14. That became my Mother’s “MY TIME”. She was never home and I do mean never. If you are wondering if I’ve been through therapy, yes, years upon years. I finished raising the kids. The son died at 17 and the daughter is still alive. My Mother died several years ago. Not before she put SO much stress on my first marriage financially because she gambled every cent away that was left to her, including my college fund.
Well, this “miracle child”, never got over being the MIRACLE. She was always treated special by my Mother. My husband and I did our part in that too buying formals, shoes, trucks, you name it. The miracle child expects that you live up to her standard, financially. She has consistently married “up”. She has stayed married to this current man for quite sometime, but he has a very good job. She had told me several times I need to move from my area, live in a better place. All the while, she’s counting pennies and I’m able to go to the mall.
I do believe my daughter is a miracle. I believe all children are miracles. I also believe if you place that “miracle” word upon them and they expect it all, you’re in for a load of trouble. My daughter has to work for what she get’s to wear, makeup, or whatever she “wants”. I do buy normal school clothes, don’t get me wrong and normal beauty needs. If she’s wanting a $100 pair of boots, she better have the $100!
I didn’t use my “miracle” baby to save my marriage. I was married 8 years before we decided to have our “miracle” baby. We were married 18 years before he passed away. She’s spoiled but with attention and love. I dearly hate to see when people use babies to try to “save a marriage”. It might work in some cases but not in all.