My New Adventures

Wacky Wednesday- I’m Tripping Over Animals

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If I don’t have something specific to write on like a giveaway or a review, then I’m going to go by a new little weekly theme. Today is WACKY WEDNESDAY.

Ok, we honestly do live in a zoo. This is in no way a part of my new adventure in life, I have always loved animals and ALWAYS had several. Right now, we have 3 inside dogs and 2 outside cats. The dogs are pretty young. Walter is the oldest and he is 3, Louie and Izzy are both under 1 and are both just puppies. The cats though, Stripe is 15 and Patches is 9. Our animals live FOREVER, honestly.

I’ve never had trouble training dogs, ever. I’ve had dogs all my life and I’m 49. I’ve had inside dogs since 1993. These two pups are really testing me and it honestly is driving me WACKY. I can’t lay down puppy pads because Louie who is 4 months old decided after he used the potty on it, he would tear it apart and spread it across the house. I do have him house trained though now. I already had Izzy house trained. So, no more puppy pads.

My main problem is chewing from both of the younger dogs. Izzy is almost, almost a year old and Louie is about 4 months. I have a TON of chew toys around this house, yet they have decided that they want to chew on my furniture while I’m gone. They even want to chew on my furniture if I am working on the computer for an extended amount of time. My furniture was NEW when I moved into this house in 2014. It’s just about broke my heart. Izzy is part pit bull/lab, trust me she has more pit bull. Louie is part lab/part pit bull, the only thing pit bull about Louie is his coloring and that is the truth. All of our animals are rescues. We have volunteer at an animal rescue in the past, I just have a few time restraints right now. Michael is always afraid that I will adopt a pet again and not tell him until after.

I’ve used a spray on the furniture that they suggested for me at Petsmart to deter chewing. It might be helping, I’m not sure yet. Honestly, I’m just a little NUTS today. Walter has been the only good boy. The other 2 are just my trouble makers! Now, I wonder, why do I love animals more than humans, lol! I do though.

Here are a few pictures of my dogs:

Louie

Izzy

Walter

Do you have any suggestions on how to stop a dog from chewing furniture. I’m not getting rid of them, sorry!

I Deeply Regret Writing About Emotional Abuse Yesterday-

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I use this blog as one to write my feelings. To actually let go and blow my top at times, not all the time. Yesterday was one of them. I totally regret writing yesterday’s post due the post about my daughter hating me.

Emotional Abuse within a marriage,

To clarify about the emotional abuse, I have been to lawyers- I will have to split every. He’s not happy with that. He said he will make it to the point that I don’t have a dime. I’ve called the cops. If I don’t have a bruise, they can’t remove him. The home (even though it is in my name) is marital property. I have spoken to my preacher. I have called a hot line.

I’m really use to getting bad comments on my regular blog, usually using nasty words. I’ve never been told that my daughter will HATE me. Everything I do is for my daughter and she knows it. Everything.

I have severe arthritis and fibromyalgia. I have NO family, none. I was going to leave and take my daughter (my first marriage). He told me that he would sue for sole custody and he would get it. He had family support and he knew all the cops and most of the judicial system. I stayed. I can’t make it without my daughter.

This marriage, I was lonely after my first marriage in death. I waited 3 years to even date. He seemed so perfect. He never raised his voice. He joked all the time. He told great stories. He seemed perfect and I fell in love. I really did. After we were married, his attitude changed.

I’m sorry if you think my daughter will HATE me. I don’t believe that. Everything here goes straight to my daughter (if something happens to me), even though she is underage. Nothing is left to my husband.

I didn’t HATE my Mother for staying with my Dad. I did dislike my Mother a lot, but it was because after my Dad died, she spent all the money that was left to us (even college money). That is a long story and I won’t go into it but I ended up raising her kids starting at the age 0f 14 and didn’t stop until I was 28.

I’m a Christian, I don’t HATE anyone. Gracie is a Christian and she doesn’t HATE anyone. We are about as close as two peas in a pod. I am so sorry if you think that.

Emotional Abuse Within Marriage

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I was brought up in an abusive home. It’s always been said that you marry your Dad. I guess I did in both marriages. I didn’t leave my first husband because of my daughter. I can’t leave my present husband because everything within the house is mine (the home included). He says he will make my life a living hell if I try to divorce him. I live with emotional abuse daily.

Just a little background here. My daughter and I made it fine on our own with just my money before I married this man. Now, all money is gone because he drinks and smokes the paychecks up. My daughter and I will almost do without food (and I will) at times because he has went and bought beer and I won’t bounce a check. He says (the functioning alcoholic, he is) that beer fills him up so he doesn’t have to eat. That is his food. Whatever, I’ve just had it.

He tells me daily the hell that I put him through. That I spend all of his money. He screams at me telling me that he is just a paycheck to me. I beg this man to leave. I’ve offered to pay him a large amount of money to leave, he won’t go. He tells me how arrogant I am by wanting a birthday party for my daughter. This is not done in nice words, this is done in fits of anger and drunkenness. He bought a 30 pack of beer on Thursday and needed another 30 pack on Saturday.

Emotional Abuse within a marriage,emotional abuse, abusive home

He says I’m a “B” word for not buying him steaks. I can’t afford steaks. I honestly can’t. I buy the cheapest protein I can so that I can give it to my daughter. I make sure she has vegetables. I make sure SHE has nourishment. I can’t afford his high priced ways.

He controls every aspect of my life. After he’s berated me verbally, he tells me exactly what I am allowed to do and HOW I should do it. He criticizes the way I talk, because I’m Baptist and believe in God, he criticizes my parenting. He overrules whatever I ask my daughter to do. He talks to my daughter behind my back about me. My daughter tells me, sometimes I can hear. He calls me ugly names, ugly and that is to my daughter. He constantly says that I’m cheating on him and doing “specific” acts with men.

My husband hasn’t touched me in over two years. I don’t miss it. I really don’t. I’m so tired of the emotional abuse within the marriage that I don’t want to TOUCH him. The effects of emotional abuse after so many years of it has just been awful on me. I’m a nervous wreck and I double check every word that I let come out of my mouth. I never say anything without saying it twice.

I tell everyone how great he is. What a great provider. How well he takes care of us. None of my friends read this blog. Quite honestly though, no one really likes him. He put on a good game face when we met, but he is acts like he knows everything. He has cut me off from everyone I know.

Sometimes, I just have to let things out. Today was a very hard day. Living in an abusive home is very hard.

A Miracle Child~

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I dearly love children, honestly. I went off every medication I was on (against medical advice) to have my child. That is how much I love children.

I read an article this week about a woman’s “miracle child” and how it would save her marriage. I think children should be conceived in love and be brought up in a loving home. I don’t think it’s a child’s job to “save” a marriage.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

I’ve been through the “miracle child” dilemma in my life. It was done to save a marriage too. When my sibling was born, she was called a “miracle baby”. My Dad loved her, took her everywhere he went. He was a good man and he stayed. As you can tell, I was older. My job was to watch the baby and the other child in the home. I don’t even call them siblings anymore. I know that is odd and probably unforgivable to most. I just don’t. I never had a life after age 9. My life was babysitting continuously.

My Dad had enough finally, just all he handle. He committed suicide when I was 14. That became my Mother’s “MY TIME”. She was never home and I do mean never. If you are wondering if I’ve been through therapy, yes, years upon years. I finished raising the kids. The son died at 17 and the daughter is still alive. My Mother died several years ago. Not before she put SO much stress on my first marriage financially because she gambled every cent away that was left to her, including my college fund.

Well, this “miracle child”, never got over being the MIRACLE. She was always treated special by my Mother. My husband and I did our part in that too buying formals, shoes, trucks, you name it. The miracle child expects that you live up to her standard, financially. She has consistently married “up”. She has stayed married to this current man for quite sometime, but he has a very good job. She had told me several times I need to move from my area, live in a better place. All the while, she’s counting pennies and I’m able to go to the mall.

I do believe my daughter is a miracle. I believe all children are miracles. I also believe if you place that “miracle” word upon them and they expect it all, you’re in for a load of trouble. My daughter has to work for what she get’s to wear, makeup, or whatever she “wants”. I do buy normal school clothes, don’t get me wrong and normal beauty needs. If she’s wanting a $100 pair of boots, she better have the $100!

I didn’t use my “miracle” baby to save my marriage. I was married 8 years before we decided to have our “miracle” baby. We were married 18 years before he passed away. She’s spoiled but with attention and love. I dearly hate to see when people use babies to try to “save a marriage”. It might work in some cases but not in all.

I married an alcoholic and didn’t know it~

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I’m sorry I don’t post on here consistently. Life get’s in my way and I get tied up in family things.

I was married over 18 years when my husband passed away. I waited over 3 years to even look at another man. I know a lot of men just drink of weekends and my present husband is Catholic and they do drink. So, I just thought he drank a couple of beers on the weekend. Boy did he have me fooled.

This man could never afford to live alone even though he makes a VERY good living. He drinks away his paycheck. I make the same amount of money before we were married and I can live on my own. He will drain our bank account to buy beer. I learned very early in our marriage to get a separate account and transfer all my money over to it.

There is $1.01 cents in our joint account and he bought beer out of the $20 he had in his pocket yesterday. I asked him how I was supposed to buy anything to eat until he is paid again. He said we can make it. He said that my daughter shouldn’t have had girls over and we wouldn’t have been out money to feed them. Alcoholic, right? Good thing I have my separate account. I also have no overdraft on our joint account. That’s a very good idea.

He won’t eat anything at home unless it is steak. That doesn’t happen very often, steak is high. He has expensive taste but I don’t do expensive unless it’s for my daughter.

I looked up Al-Anon meetings last night but not one is in our city. I would have to drive (at night) to a town 30 miles away. I can’t drive well at night. I dearly wish there was one here.

I do love him, he is loving, caring and takes care of us physically. I don’t want to him to leave. It is my home. He has no access to my money.

I’m just so sad that he has turned into something that I saw when I was growing up.

I put on a fake face in public, but I hurt daily…

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When you young and get married, you really don’t know what you are getting into. Combined finances, integrated families, building your own family and traditions. I think in the first marriage, I’ve never heard anyone complain (at first at least) about “personal relations”, if you would like me to explain that a little better, please e-mail me. I didn’t complain my first marriage. It slowed down, we were busy, but relations still occurred.

When I became a widow, the very LAST thing on my mind was “relations”. I was fine and dandy trying to figure out how to take care of my daughter and myself. It was hard, very hard at first, we figured it out together though. I became lonely after about three years. I became tired of Nick JR TV. Please think about this, I was a widow at forty two. I needed some adult time. I made several rules for myself. I was always home by ten PM. I only dated a man that I thought I MIGHT want to introduce to my daughter. I ended up dating three men (not at the same time,lol). She met two of the men.

The second one, the children just did not get along. That was a NO for me. While I was dating the third man, my home of twenty years burned. I was devastated. He stepped in and helped me with everything. I thought he was my Prince Charming. I liked him before but I loved him after he helped me through all he helped me through. He was good with my daughter, he teased with her. She liked that type of stuff. I see now how he fooled me.

We had a NORMAL relationship at first when it came to “relations”. We have been married since April 2015. He has slept on the couch (saying he just falls asleep watching tv) for about a year. I haven’t had relations in about a year. I’ve asked him directly for relations. I’ve made move towards “relations”. Nothing has worked. I know, in my heart, what this means. I’m a Southern Baptist girt who doesn’t believe in divorce though. I’ve gained 40 pounds, eating away my feelings. I’m good at that!

He’s taken himself off the cloud on our phones, he isn’t at work when I just show up and says he is buying “something”. He was off two extra two days last week and three this week, all while my daughter is at school. “Relations” wouldn’t be a problem at all during the daytime while she’s gone.

Please try not to judge people, you NEVER know what pain they might be going through.

When You Do Decide To Remarry…

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Make sure that you know everything about him. Don’t let him pull the wool over your eyes.

I stated on My New Adventures A LONG time ago that I was taking it slow in my engagement. We did end up getting married because I loved the persona he put in front of me. I thought he was a good Dad, a good man, everything. I wish that single women could interview the ex-wife before we start dating these men. I know most divorced women are going to have TERRIBLE feelings about there exes. Of course, I think I would want to interview friends of the ex too because in my case, I think the whole family might be off. I just wish future wives knew what we were getting into. Be paranoid, it could pay off in the end.

I talked about being more confident these days in my last post and I am. I just don’t know that I would have made the same choices if I had known the honest to goodness truth about the man. Heck, I should have done a people search on his whole family.

So, if you are ever in my spot and think you have fell in love. Dig up everything you can about the man~

Well, it’s been a while, but I’ve been reading things that irritate me about women over 40

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This blog is supposed to be about My New Adventures.  Well, I’ll tell you, things have really changed since I was in my 20’s.  I’m in my late 40’s and I’ve never felt more confident.  I don’t know about you, but I just seem to gain confidence as I age.

I’ve been reading on several blogs things like 5 things women over 40 shouldn’t wear or 5 cosmetics women should avoid.  I realize we are getting older and I really do agree, modesty is the way to go.  I have never really shown off any part of my body that shouldn’t be shown in public.  I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself, my husband or my daughter.

 

I live in jeans and t-shirts.  I realize some people expect women of my age should wear a certain type of clothing.  I’m basic, jeans and tees.  Guess what, I shop at the Buckle too, right along with my 16 year old daughter.  I haven’t found a pair of jeans that I prefer than Rock Revival or Miss Me.   I know that is a young adult store, but you will always see me there if I’m in the mall.  My jeans may have holes in them, FOR SHAME.  My husband, Michael, doesn’t mind.  I’m not showing my private area.  I’m comfy.   My daughter wears the same jeans.  In fact, we trade off jeans.  She’s 16.

 

My t-shirts are very comfortable.  A LOT of them are graphic tee’s.  Some of them say sarcastic things.  I’m totally fine with that.  Most of my t-shirts are a little bigger than they need to be.  I don’t like restrictive clothing.  I really don’t like the new extremely short sleeve women’s t-shirt.  I don’t like to show off that much of my arms.

Our Church is very laid back. Gracie, my daughter, dresses to the hilt.  She LOVES to dress up.  I wear my jeans (no holes) and a very nice blouse with a tank underneath.  During the night services, a lot of people wear t-shirts.  I don’t wear my sarcastic graphic ones.  I do wear t-shirts though.

Shoes, I wear what I want.  I love Sanuk, Chacos and ESPECIALLY cowboy boots.  I wear my boots even in the summer.  We are located in the South, boots are a staple.

Makeup is simple and easy for me.  I use SeneGence  products.  I wear LipSense almost everyday, almost any color and and EyeSense.  I’m also a distributor for LipSense, so if you are interested let me know.  I don’t go all out.  I’m plain and simple.

My suggestion on everything you read on the blogs, go with your gut.  Do what you want and do what makes you feel GREAT.

 

 

 

I’m Thru Taking It Slow :)

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It’s been so long since I’ve had a man that I could trust to take care of me and daughter.  I know that I have found that in my fiance.  I absolutely love him with ALL my heart.  He went above and beyond all he should have done today.

slow

I had a hard week last week, I mean a hard one.  I couldn’t get one thing accomplished.  Anything I could get done, was not done correctly.  The TIVO must be sent back, my printer won’t print and my windshield was cracked.  All of these problems, I could have normally taken care of.  Things just popped up around them and I could not figure them out!  My daughter and fiance just put up with me be looney about all three situations.  He knows nothing about electronics and could not help at all on the first two.  I thought I had the windshield covered until today when the repairman said he couldn’t do it.

Well, he (my fiance)  took control, he told me to chill out.  He asked a guy that he worked with to call me about the printer and that man’s advice worked perfectly.  I can now PRINT!  I “think” I might have the cable card issue figured out on the TIVO unit.  I just need to run the unit up to the cable company and they will take it out for me.  I can’t figure how to get it out, honestly.  He is doing ALL the calling on my windshield.  He’s calling repairmen and my insurance company.  He’s also taking my car in to get it’s oil changed on Friday.

This man is a dream come true to me!  I don’t want to take it slow anymore.  I’m READY to get married.  I’m going to have to start thinking about what I want to do.  By that I mean, how I want to get married.  I had a nice wedding the first time, not a huge, fancy wedding, but a nice wedding.   We both were married 20 some odd years each.  I’m thinking something just quick with our kids.  What do you think?

I’m engaged & I’m taking it slow~

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In the beginning this blog began with one of the topics being “single dating”.  Well, I’m still dating, but as an engaged lady.

engaged saying

I’m taking this slow and easy.  I’m not rushing into ANYTHING at all.  I’ve been through YEARS upon YEARS of marriage.  I have a super daughter.  I have my own home and car. I’m financially stable.  I have my animals, you know that is important lol!  I can live on my own.  I’ve done it for a LONG time.

I just don’t want to rush.  I want things to be RIGHT.  I want this to be a “forever” marriage, if that’s even possible.  I mean my last one would have been, or at least I think it would have been.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, I know there will be disagreements and things will have to be worked out.   I just want the situation to be the best it can be.

I want my daughter to be well at ease.  She does like this man.  Although adding a full time man into a mix of just “two girls only” is a little odd for her.  Not a bad odd.  She loves having a man around she can depend on again.  That is awesome.  I like that.  I like that he cares for her and she does for him too.

Have any of you been in this situation?